I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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