I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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