there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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