I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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