I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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