I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize