ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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