she smelled like a LAN party
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize