Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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