Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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