and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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