you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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