He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
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I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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