we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize