When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
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Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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