I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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