i just sent this text using only my big toe
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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