Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize