i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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