You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
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God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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