hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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