You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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