brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
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I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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