you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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