I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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