Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize