Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
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When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize