Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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