"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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