What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
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She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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