hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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