i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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