oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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