Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
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I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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