Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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