Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize