how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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