He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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