You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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