i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize