Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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