Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
