I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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