I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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