u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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