I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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