I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize