People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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