I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
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