I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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